I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
