Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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