Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize