And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
my liver is dry heaving
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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