I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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