It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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