as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
