I cut my penus on the lid.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
