so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I cut my penus on the lid.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
