Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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