If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
