I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
