Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
