come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize