I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
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