Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
