Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
