i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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