8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
