i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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