did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
