So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
