just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
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