Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
