He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
ugly people sure do ruin things
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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