What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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