I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It's blow job season.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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