You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
