Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
