Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Randomize
