So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
