I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
