on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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