out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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