haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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