i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
