I wish I could punch you in the face.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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