So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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