I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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