Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
