yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
