My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
