NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Someone came in the potted fern
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
