sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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