I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
