I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
