I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
