In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
