Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
