the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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