another moral hangover. fuck.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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