I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
