mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
