singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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