Porn is love you can see.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
