think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
