I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
