I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
