Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
