I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
These tits shall not be calmed
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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