Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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