i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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