How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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