bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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