Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
