she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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